Memorial Markers
I am approaching Standish and as I walk, I pass dozens of those memorial markers where people have been killed in accidents, even on smaller side roads with hardly any traffic. If you take all the ones I've seen on my walk just in Michigan and multiply that by all the states across the nation - that is a lot of people. I have to wonder, how many of these accidents were alcohol related? The fact is, alcohol kills, it hurts... and people need to know how serious this disease is.
Posted by mseyrig on 08/18/2008 at 7:03 AMAdd Comment
Comment posted by Anonymous on 08/30/2008 at 8:30 PM Alex.. Melanie (Plaskon) Fraczek sent me the link to your blog and told me of your story. I admire your courage in recognizing your addiction and your fortitude in your everyday struggle to overcome it. I see the sadness of drunk driving in my job just about everyday... I work in Law Enforcement and have seen many serious if not fatal accidents as a result. You've found a wonderful way of getting the message across. Wishing you the best as you progress in your recovery. Wanda Mroz (HHS Class of 1970)
Comment posted by Anonymous on 08/18/2008 at 5:45 PM Alex, Came across the article about the man walking through Michigan, saw a familiar name and read your blog. We send warm words of encouragement and support with each step you take. Recovery offers you, daily, opportunities for renewal and growth. Best of luck to you on your life-changing journey, today and always. Melanie (Plaskon) Fraczek and Family (HHS '70 classmate)
Comment posted by Anonymous on 08/18/2008 at 9:38 AM The seriousness of this disease not only impacts the addict, but also those who love them. This is a family disease. For those of us who have been codependent, loved too much and have enabled an addict, I would like to share a quote from a recent best selling book, A Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. “Our similarities are profound. To varying degrees, we have spent years accepting and rationalizing behavior in our loved ones that we would never tolerate in anyone else. We have protected them and hidden their addiction. We have resented them and felt guilty for it. We vowed not to take their cruelty or deceitfulness or selfishness or irresponsibility any longer and then we forgave them. We raged at them, often inwardly. We blamed ourselves. We worried – worried incessantly – that they would kill themselves.” I wonder how many of those memorial markers represent not just those that alcohol or drugs has killed but those left behind in guilt or shame who may not have known how to really help a loved one who is an addict? To really love is to allow one the dignity to make his own mistakes, learn from life’s lessons, and not enable them by hiding or worse yet, helping fuel their addiction through ignorance. How do we help those we love that are addicts? Helping – (From Families Anonymous) My role as a helper is not to DO things for the person I am trying to help, but to BE things; not to try to control and change his actions, but through understanding and awareness, to change my reactions. I will change my negatives to positives; fear to faith; contempt for what he does to respect for the potential within him; hostility to understanding; and manipulation to over-protection to release with love, not trying to make him fit a standard or image, but giving him an opportunity to pursue his own destiny, regardless of what his choice may be. I will change my dominance to encouragement; panic to serenity; the inertia of despair to the energy of my own personal growth; self – justification to self-understanding. I, too, am always changing, and I can make that change a constructive one, if I am willing. I CAN CHANGE MYSELF. Others, I can only love. Thanks Alex for memorializing those that have been killed or hurt. - Andrew L.
