You’ve washed the dinner dishes, finished your laundry and sent that last email. The sun set hours ago—but you finally have a minute to yourself, so you start scrolling social media or streaming a show. “The next thing you know, it’s past midnight and you have to get up early the next day,” says Lisa MacLean, M.D., a psychiatrist at Henry Ford Health.
Sound familiar? This unhelpful pattern goes by the nickname “revenge bedtime procrastination,” Dr. MacLean explains. Why “revenge”? Because you’re intentionally delaying going to bed, even though you know you’ll regret it in the morning. “It’s a coping mechanism people might turn to when they feel like they don’t get any time for themselves. But it can lead to negative mental and physical consequences,” she adds.
Luckily, there are better ways to cope. Here’s how to reclaim your me-time without sabotaging your slumber.
Sleep Procrastination: Causes and Consequences
Subscribe To Our E-Newsletter
People stay up too late for all sorts of reasons. But those who regularly put off bedtime tend to be stressed and overscheduled. Parents may be particularly vulnerable, since they often feel like they spend every waking minute tending to a little one’s needs. But anyone who deals with a long list of daytime demands can fall into the habit of revenge bedtime procrastination.
“People who do it are aware that not getting enough sleep has a negative impact. But they’re reluctant to change because it’s the only time they have for themselves,” Dr. MacLean says.
A bad night’s sleep can leave you feeling sluggish and moody. Over time, regularly getting insufficient sleep can affect your immune system, heart health, gut health, dementia risk and more.
Additionally, revenge bedtime procrastination might make your days even more stressful. When you’re overtired, you’re more distracted and less productive. So you get less done, end up with even less time to yourself—and the cycle continues. “Unfortunately, if you’re regularly not getting enough sleep, it can have a snowball effect,” Dr. MacLean adds.
How to Break the Bedtime Procrastination Cycle
Breaking the cycle of revenge bedtime procrastination involves two broad strategies: Putting boundaries around your bedtime and managing daytime stress. Dr. MacLean offers tips for getting started.
Embrace your bedtime
Step one: Put a plan in place to get a good night’s sleep.
- Stick to a schedule. Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day—even on non-working days. Aim to log at least 7 hours of sleep each night.
- Unplug. Mindlessly scrolling on your phone is a good way to lose track of time and stay up way too late. Plus, the light emitted by devices can interfere with sleep hormones. Plug in your phone outside the bedroom and avoid watching TV at bedtime. “Try setting a timer to remind yourself to put devices away an hour before bed,” Dr. MacLean says.
- Set a sleep routine. Establish a set of healthy habits to help you settle into sleep. You might take a warm bath, write a few lines in your journal or do some gentle stretching before shutting out the lights.
- Keep it cozy. Keep your room dark, cool and quiet. Earplugs and light-blocking curtains are your friends.
- Talk to yourself. Sometimes you have to make an effort to remind yourself of your goals and needs. “Tell yourself ‘I need to go to bed, or I’ll feel even worse tomorrow,’” Dr. MacLean says.
Build better days
Step two: Make your days more satisfying so you don’t shortchange bedtime out of revenge.
- Limit distractions. It’s easy to waste spare moments by scrolling social media or playing games on your phone. Consider setting hard limits on device usage, Dr. MacLean suggests. Try using digital tools to monitor and restrict the time you spend on different sites or apps.
- Find joy. Now that you’re not staring at your phone, you can use your few spare moments to read a few pages of a novel, call a friend, go for a walk—or find other “glimmers” of joy in your day. “If you spend even a few minutes on things you find meaningful, you’re less likely to feel like you have to claw back time at the end of the day,” Dr. MacLean says.
- Use every second. No time for a long walk or phone call? Don’t discount the restorative power of a short microbreak.
- Let it go. If you’re consistently stressed, look for commitments you can let go. Set clear boundaries around your availability and don’t answer emails after hours. Let someone else take your place on the volunteer committee. Replace elaborate meals with simple go-to options. And don’t be afraid to ask friends and family members to lend a hand when you’re in over your head.
It's all too easy to fall into the trap of revenge bedtime procrastination. But you don’t have to fall victim to vengeance. “Staying up late might give you the illusion of more personal time, but at what cost?” Dr. MacLean asks. “By setting boundaries around your bedtime and your daytime, you can reclaim some of the time you deserve—and still get to bed at a reasonable hour.”
Reviewed by Lisa MacLean, M.D., a psychiatrist specializing in adult ADHD treatment at Henry Ford Behavioral Services in Detroit. She is the director of physician wellness for Henry Ford Health, using her expertise to help doctors optimize wellness and find balance by teaching them healthy coping strategies so they can better serve their patients.
