Over the past decade or so, screen time among kids has soared. In the process, kids are spending less time with their peers—a lot less. In fact, research shows that adolescents in 2017 spent 140 fewer hours of face time with friends each year compared to kids in 2003.
That lack of in-person interaction can take a toll on the development of important social-emotional skills and affect a young person’s mental health. Luckily, though, parents have some tools available to help them find a healthy tech balance for their families.
The Social Impact of Technology
Technology has benefits, of course. After all, that’s why it’s become such an important part of our daily lives. For teens, social media and the Internet can offer opportunities to meet new people and expand their social circles. That can be especially important for kids from underrepresented groups, such as LGBTQ+ kids or neurodivergent kids, who can use the internet to connect with supportive peers.
On the other hand, technology use can take time away from real-life interactions (as well as other healthy habits like exercise, sleep or homework). Those interactions may be especially important for tweens and teens.
Adolescent brains are designed to crave interaction from their peers. That’s part of the process of separating from your parents and growing up. With fewer opportunities for in-person interaction, kids can have trouble developing age-appropriate social skills.
Kids who aren’t talking with people in person very often, for example, might miss social cues and respond in an inappropriate way—such as dominating a conversation because they don’t notice their friend has something to say, or making jokes after the mood of the conversation turns serious.
Those weak social skills could cause problems with peers and adults and could even lead to mental health problems like depression or social anxiety.
Fostering Healthy Technology Use
What’s a concerned parent to do? A lot, actually. Families and caregivers can take steps to help their kids develop a healthy relationship with the digital world.
Need A Pediatrician?
- Set limits: Teens in the United States spend an average of nearly 5 hours a day on social media, according to the American Psychological Association. Yet pediatric experts recommend limiting screen time to 2 hours or less per day. Setting (and enforcing) daily screen time rules is a good place to start.
- Teach digital literacy: A phone or tablet is like a key to the world—and that’s a lot of responsibility to hand a tween or teen. Have a family meeting to discuss guidelines and expectations for technology use. Talk about using caution when friending or chatting with people online, and what information (like your address and other personal information) should not be shared. Then put a plan in place to enforce those rules. Adults can do a lot to teach teens to safely navigate social media and cultivate a positive social media experience.
- Make screen time social: Tech time doesn’t have to be spent solo. Bring devices into the family room so you can interact with one another while you catch up on social media. For kids who like to play video games, online gaming with others can be a great way to connect with friends.
- Get out of the house: As you limit screen time, replace it with opportunities to interact. Go to events as a family. Encourage your kid to pursue clubs, sports or other social activities. Reach out to arrange a movie night or amusement park outing for your teen and their friends.
- Coach social skills: Parents and caregivers can take the lead on helping kids exercise their social muscles. Coach them on skills like how to introduce yourself to someone new. Suggest some go-to questions they can use when starting a conversation. Encourage teens to call to make appointments or take the lead on picking up a take-out order. Those little daily interactions with others will help them develop confidence in social interactions.
- Keep lines of conversation open: Chat regularly with your kids about what they’re doing on their devices. Ask who they’re talking to and what they’re watching. Make sure they know that if they see anything concerning, like online bullying, talk of self-harm or inappropriate images, they should come to you with their concerns. And remind them about the importance of making safe, smart choices online.
Remember, too, that this is a conversation that will evolve as your kids get older, and as new apps are introduced. Our digital world isn’t going anywhere. But as parents and caregivers, we can do our best to guard against the negative and teach kids to use technology positively and safely.
Stacy Leatherwood, M.D., is a board-certified pediatrician and the physician champion for childhood wellness. She sees patients at Henry Ford Medical Centers in midtown Detroit and Sterling Heights. Learn more about Dr. Leatherwood.
