Thinking about the end of life – especially your own – isn’t something most people enjoy. But planning for it is important. Even if you are young and healthy, circumstances can change instantly. Consider how much medical care you want if you are seriously injured or become sick. Then, carefully choose an advocate – a person who will communicate your wishes if you are no longer able. Document your choice of an advocate through an advance directive, which becomes part of your medical record.
Fr. Tom Nguyen, a member of the pastoral care team at Henry Ford Health who helps patients with advance care planning and end-of-life decisions, emphasizes that choosing an advocate and completing an advance directive form is only part of the process: “Too often, a person chooses an advocate who doesn’t truly understand who they are and what makes life meaningful for them.”
An ideal advocate is a person who:
Advanced Care Planning Resources
- Knows you well
- Is mentally alert
- Will follow your wishes
- Is strong enough to enforce your wishes
- Has time and availability
- Can be available in a sudden event or emergency
Nguyen says even when a patient has chosen an advocate, family members can become divided because they don’t agree on what their loved one would have wanted. Some family members may want more aggressive treatment than the patient requested, and the advocate can face a great deal of guilt and pressure.
“To prevent this, have conversations ahead of time so your advance directive is thorough and clear,” says Nguyen. “When the patient has involved their close family members and friends, difficult medical decisions become much easier.”
There is no single path to having conversations with loved ones and creating an advance directive. Nguyen offers a few options to get started:
1. Have a Conversation
Find a trained advance care planning service to help start the conversation, like the free service offered through Henry Ford.
“We’ll help you identify an advocate and, together, have a robust discussion about your goals and create your advance directive. Then, we can bring in other loved ones so you’re all on the same page. While everyone might not agree with your choices, the key is for everyone to agree that they are your choices to make,” says Nguyen.
2. Talk to your Medical Team
“It’s always a good idea to talk to your physician or provider,” says Nguyen. “Let them know you are completing an advance directive, ask for their input, and review the completed form with them.” Your provider will enter your advance directive into your medical record.
3. Complete a Form & Keep it Current
Whether or not you complete the form with the help of your doctor, once you fill out an advance directive form, be sure to review the completed paperwork with your physician before it is entered in your medical record to ensure your wishes are clear to him or her.
As you age or your health status changes, don’t forget to revisit your advance directive. If your advocate’s health status or situation changes and that person is no longer able to speak for you, you will need to appoint a different advocate.
4. Don’t Wait
Nguyen recommends everyone complete an advance directive around age 55 or younger. “You’ll gain peace of mind after thinking through what is important to you and choosing someone you trust whose decisions will be consistent with who you are. You’ll also remove the burden of decision-making from your loved ones and ensure that your passing is in harmony with your wishes.”
Reviewed by Fr. Tom Nguyen, a spiritual care leader at Henry Ford Health.
