It’s not always easy to ask for help. For some, it can be hard to pinpoint what you need help with. For others, asking for assistance can feel like a sign of weakness. But if you’ve been diagnosed with cancer, chances are your family, friends and medical team want to help you in every way they can — and they certainly won’t judge you for reaching out for help.
“By nature, people are good,” says Cynthia Ulreich, an oncology-certified nurse practitioner at Henry Ford Health. “If they’re asking to help, take them at their word.”
Of course, refrains like “let me know if you need anything” don’t always translate into concrete actions. So here are a few ways to help others convert their good intentions into good deeds.
1. Let them make your meals.
“Oftentimes, if you're going through chemotherapy, the smell of food can make you nauseous,” Ulreich says. If you find that cooking diminishes your appetite, have a loved one cook for you or bring you meals. Putting someone else in charge of your meals can also be an opportunity to incorporate healthy, whole foods into your diet.
2. Ask for housekeeping help.
Most of us aren’t thrilled to tackle household chores, and if you’re not feeling well, they can be even more of a pain. Don’t be afraid to allow someone else to help keep things tidy or keep up with laundry. During the holidays, having someone else decorate with you can be a fun tandem activity.
3. Have them walk your dog.
While you’re juggling medical appointments and other errands, sometimes your furry friends might get neglected. Most likely, someone in your support network is great with animals. Play to their strengths and let them handle pet care if it’s been weighing on your own mind.
Cancer Care At Henry Ford
4. Ask them to hang out.
Some people simply understand how to show you a good time. You may be having a down day, but you probably have a friend or two who know how to make you laugh. Let them distract you with games at home, a night out, or simply binge watching a new show.
5. Let them give you a listening ear.
Sometimes, we don’t want people to see us at our most vulnerable. But chances are, your support network wants to hear what you’re going through. If you have an open ear, take it, and don’t worry about taking up too much of their time. This is a time in life to focus on you.
In general, Ulreich says newly diagnosed cancer patients just want to maintain a sense of normalcy. If that's how you feel, don't be afraid to communicate that to those around you. But be open to accepting help as it comes.
“A cancer diagnosis can feel like a full-time job,” Ulreich says. And chances are, you have plenty of coworkers who are eager and willing to help you get the job done.
Reviewed by Cynthia Ulreich, advanced oncology-certified nurse practitioner who sees patients at Henry Ford Cancer - Detroit.
